What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
