I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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