Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
