Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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