I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
