I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
