i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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