none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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