I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
