PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
