Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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