I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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