You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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