i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
