I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
