So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
