Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Randomize
