wanna go halves on a baby?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
