She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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