You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
