We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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