Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
