so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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