No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
