what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
