Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
