apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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