Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
