Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
