I love having hate sex.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
