If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
