we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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