Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
