I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
