It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
