Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
