he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
