If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
