jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
