Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
