marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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