remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
