In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
