Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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