I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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