Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my sisters under your porch take her home
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
