the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
