he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
