You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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