her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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