Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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