I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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